Tag Archives: Ulcerative Colitis

Fighting Depression

 

Hello everyone, I hope you are doing well.  Me, I’m doing okay, however, I am fighting a little depression these days.  I will try and tell ya’ll what is going on, if I can make some sense of it myself.

Where do I start?  I don’t know how or why this depression has slipped up on me because I try and try my hardest to live one day at a time and not look back.  I know you can’t live your life looking back, you must always move forward with your life.  Although I know all of this, reminding myself is another task…

Well, my youngest daughter turned 16 a few weeks ago and it just seems as if we have been head to head about things since her birthday!  It’s just one thing after another with her these days.  I guess she is trying to see what her boundaries are.  I’m strong but every once in a while I need a break!  It’s just the drama we have to go through to get to an endpoint is unbelievable, but of course I still love her!

At the same time, I am thinking of the future and future bills we will come across.  The big one is Bella’s college and then she will need a car for college.  It seems like a lot of money when just one person is working and the other on disability.  I am feeling the itch to get at least a part-time job, however, I know me and will eventually end up in the hospital for some reason and with that comes multiple doctor appointments.

I know I should give my worries to God, and I do on a daily basis and I also know that I should live one day at a time, but I can’t help to think that I should help with the bills that will be coming in.  As you can tell, I still struggle with this no working thing after 5 years.  I have never had to rely on someone else to help me out with the bills, house cleaning and taking care of myself at times but this is what this disease has done to me.  I feel as if I am a totally different person than I was before.  I used to be self sufficient and hard working and was proud of myself for accomplishing that.  There are some days now when I try my best to muster up the strength to get out of the bed and onto the couch.

Sometimes I ask myself and God what I did that was so wrong that I am being punished for now.  I probably don’t want to know the answer to that!  I admit, I wasn’t exactly an angel in the past but that was in the past, way past.  Maybe I should believe that God is preparing me for something excellent that he has for me in the future.  I need to be ready for what he has in store for me!

If I think about it in that way, I do feel better about all the things going on in my life.  I also feel better now that I have talked out what all is in my head and have many ears listening to me.  Thank you for being here for me.  You can imagine what all this has done to my Crohn’s Disease, can’t you??  I am trying to get my diarrhea under control as we speak.  Please send up a little prayer for me today.  I truly do feel better now, thanks again!  This is just another symptom of having Crohn’s Disease – depression.

Chow for now!

Kelly

 

New Developments

Hello everyone!  I hope ya’ll are doing well these days.  In this post, I would like to update you on some issues that have been going on with me.  One of these days, I hope I can give you some out-of-this-world positive news!

The other day, my doctor’s nurse called me and told me my potassium and magnesium was pretty low. They told me from the looks of my blood work it looks as if I am dehydrated.  I have had lots of diarrhea lately and I am losing a lot of fluids. They talked about putting me in the hospital to pump me full of each.  I said whatever I could say in order for them NOT to put me in the hospital (I hate that place)!  Instead, I suggested to them that I could go on the TPN every night instead of the every other night I had been doing.  Just to let you know, I started out taking it every night and was working on tapering off the TPN until this incident happened.  I took one step forward and two steps back!  I also ask them to take all of the calories out of the TPN bag because I was doing 600 calories a night and I don’t need anymore calories, I’m doing fine on my own!  I am already 12 pounds over my ideal weight from this thing.  Sometimes I feel as if they just don’t understand or care if I get huge or not, just keep gaining that weight, it’s good for you!

Okay, I’m not sure how to tell you this but here it goes..a couple of weeks ago I sat down on the toilet to pee.  All the sudden, I felt something fall out of my butt!  Now those of you who follow me know that nothing should be coming out of my butt due to my ostomy.  Anyhoo, I panicked and looked down.  There is something at the bottom of the toilet that looks like a worm!  Now I really panic and run into the living room to get my camera to take a picture of it!  I finally got brave and fished it out – it was a rubber band or seton, the medical term for it.  Once I picked it up, I knew right away what it was and I calmed down a little.  After they hooked me up with an ostomy during surgery 3 years ago, the doctors placed this seton in my anus to hold things together.  I don’t feel any different than what I did before this thing fell out, no pain or anything.  I kept it and took it to my doctor to see if I need it replaced.  She told me as long as everything feels okay and there is no pain or anything, I shouldn’t need it replaced.  That’s one positive thing that came out of this whole experience!

Now for my jaw issue.  I got an MRI of my jaw back in February and took it to my oral surgeon to get it read and see what he says about it.  Not good news.  He told me that he hasn’t seen anyone this bad in 35 years!  Leave it to me for this too!  Why not go big??  He told me that basically my ball from the ball and joint on each side of my head is gone.  There is just a disk there, it has been worn down to the nub.  Also the cartilage that should be between the ball and joint is no longer there, it’s only scar tissue.  So what he suggested is that I wear a bottom retainer like thing and that should take the pressure off the muscle and hopefully bring my jaw forward a bit.  Both sides of my jaw are dislocated.  If that doesn’t work, I will need surgery to replace both ball and joints on each side.  I don’t want to think about that option right now – only positive thoughts!

It seems to me that the older I get the more interesting my life becomes.  Never a dull moment here!  I just wish I could take all these bad things and turn them in to something good.  I’m still trying to figure out what my purpose here on earth is.  I try to live a normal life or as normal as I can but it just seems that the harder I try, the more difficult my life becomes.  This disease has really kicked me in the butt but I try to take it one day at a time.  Oh yeah, my doctor told me she was glad that I had another doctor helping her out with me because I was a handful.  I just agreed with her, I know I am.

Chow for now!

Autoimmune Flare up or Allergies?

Hello everyone, I hope you are doing well these days.  I am going through some things that I haven’t been through since high school.  It took it 20+ years to resurface, but it is back with a vengeance!  Maybe someone has heard of this condition or know the cause for this and can help.

Back when I was in high school, my junior year, I would get this sensation in my lips.  They would start out feeling numb then they would start itching. Before you know it, they would swell to the point where it looked like I had been on the losing end of a big fight!   I could not for the world figure out what would cause such a heinous disfigurement.  I would feel fine otherwise, I just couldn’t go out in public until the swelling went down.

My mother first took me to my primary doctor, he referred me to an allergist.  I wasn’t allergic to anything so I was referred to an Immunologist.  The Immunologist told me that it was my immune system that was going wacky and attacking my lips for some reason making them swell that way.  There wasn’t anything I can do for the attack but he did give me some small white pills that I was to take when I felt the numbing sensation coming on.  Whatever those pills were, they worked like a charm.  STORY TIME:  One day I forgot my pills at home when I was at school.  We were watching a movie in class when I felt that my lips getting numb.  I had to run to the school office and call my mother to have her bring my pills to school for me.  I went back to class and the office called when my mother was there.  When I went to the office to get the pills, my mother was still there and the office assistants took one look at me and told her she better take me home because I was a lot worse than I was before.  That’s why everyone I passed in the hallway was looking at me strangely!  It took about 2 years to fully get it out of my system where I wasn’t swelling up anymore.

Now, just about a week ago, something again is going on with my lips.  In the morning, I wake up and it looks like I just got out of lip surgery!  During the day, it will go down, not to normal, but better.  They hurt badly, are numb and itch terribly.  I just let my doctor know today because it seems to be escalating now. My daughter, Bella likes my lips now because she says I look sassy! If they didn’t hurt so bad, I may consider keeping them this way!  Again I tried to figure out why my lips are swelling like this.  Maybe my immune system is going wacky again?  Maybe allergies?

If there is anyone out there with or without an autoimmune disease that has had something similar, please let me know.  What was your Diagnosis?  What was the cure?  

Just remember to take this disease one day at a time, and we will get through this together.  Please send up a little prayer for me during this time..

Chow for now!

 

 

 

First Post Ever – What is Crohn’s Disease?

Hi everyone, Kelly here!  I want to invite you to take a look at my “About Me” page to get a little bit of information of where I am coming from.  In case your not sure exactly what Crohn’s Disease is, in a nutshell, it is a chronic disease of the intestines that contains ulcers and open sores.  It is the most intense pain one could ever experience.  Crohn’s Disease can take hold anywhere from the inside of your mouth to the bottom of your anus, basically your entire system can be affected.

 

I was 18 in college for a degree in Medical Laboratory Technology.  In order to get blood to perform tests, we had to draw blood on our fellow classmates.  I can remember a particular test we had to perform for Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA). Mine was the only test that came out positive!  At 18!  Back then, I would get knee pain one week out of the year and I called it my “author” but didn’t realize until that day that it was truly arthritis!  Little did I know then that arthritis can be a symptom of Crohn’s Disease that would rear it’s ugly head years later.

Anyhoo, I wanted to give you a little overview on Crohn’s Disease so you will know a little bit of what I will be chatting about and am going through.  I have included a link to the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America because it’s such a good reference to have for this type of chronic illness.  I have so much information and experiences, new and old, that you may be able to relate to or may want to know more of.  Together I believe we can get through this horrible disease one day at a time!

Chow for now!

Kelly